Write Line Fever with Scott Dooley

The Swans are top of the ladder for the first time since 1996, in 1996 Sydney played North in a Grand Final, Spice Girls released a debut album, Atlanta held the Olympic Games, Sam Reid turned 5 and Dustin Fletcher turned 53. But this isn’t a trip down memory lane; today I want to figure out how a team that has been so consistently competitive is so well liked.

No Dickheads Policy:

No piece of bad language has been as widely celebrated as the Swans “No Dickheads Policy” and never was it as obvious as in the 05-06 seasons when the Swans and West Coast were slugging it out for supremacy.

The Swans were full of guys who you knew at school who happened to be good at football, they didn’t let it to define their character, it was just something they enjoyed doing and were really good at.

You could imagine them being really bummed that they had to miss the You Am I all ages show because some guy from the Institute of Sport wanted to do a bunch of tests on them. “Apparently I have fast-twitch fibres or something, and I can hold my breath for 11 minutes, can you get me a t-shirt?”

This was a direct contradiction with the 06 Eagles who, with the exception of Rowan Jones, came across as the most unlikeable jocks in the history of league football. Even the well considered and thoughtful Chris Judd seemed a bit like, well, a bit of a dickhead.

Seeing Andrew Embley whooping it up as he collected the Norm Smith Medal further cemented our feeling toward the Swans as we compared it to the distraught tears of the humble dual Brownlow medalist Adam Goodes. In short, they just seem like good blokes.

Sydney Fans Get It:

As a football fan in Sydney who grew up with Aussie Rules I’ve enjoyed watching the Sydney fans go from screaming, “Capper” to “Lockett” to “Baaaaaaaaaallll”. The fact that “Kickett” sounded like “Kick It” really created some confusion in the mid 90’s.

It took a while but now Sydney footy fans are as knowledgeable as anywhere else in the country. And by knowledgeable I of course mean they hate the umpires just as much as they do at Subiaco or Kardinia Park. They also now know who plays at Subiaco and Kardinia Park (I don’t call it Skilled Stadium, this blog ain’t for sale. Actually, not true, it’s totally for sale, see next point)

Rolex Watches Are Amazing:

When it comes to sophistication, elegance and class, it’s hard to go past a Rolex watch. Whether you’re hard at work or relaxing on a yacht a Rolex will not only tell you the time but it will tell others what time it is. And that time is style time.

So whether you’re a promising local comedian, a blogger for the NSW/ACT AFL website or just a guy called Scott Dooley, a Rolex watch is for you, particularly an oversize Air-King or Oyster Perpetual. (If you work for Rolex find me on twitter @scottdools).

Editor’s Note: Scott this isn’t a forum for your personal wishlist, we’re here to talk football.

They Win Tight Games:

I remember talking to Jude Bolton in 2005 and mentioned something that I’ve noticed in sports ever since, he said that the Swans are trained at winning close games, he then said something about not name-dropping on the internet. It’s true, the Swans win close games.

I believe that it stems from knowing that no matter what the situation is you will win, this creates better decision making which at the end of four tiring quarters of tight football is so often the difference. The 2006 Grand Final and Essendon in 2011 notwithstanding, the Swans have been almost unbeatable in tight situations.

Even if they beat your team, it’s hard to hate a side that had to do something to ridiculous to win, particularly when you see 22 good blokes are really happy.

They Get The Best Out Of Their Players:

No club gives players a new lease on life like the Swans. Craig Bolton, Sticky McGlynn, Josh Kennedy, Ted Richards, Marty Matner, Barry Hall, the list goes on. With the exception of Dermott Brereton it’s hard to think of players who haven’t benefitted from moving to Sydney.

Which begs the question what’s up with Dermie? He was pretty grumpy at that stage of his career and even got suspended for standing on a guy’s head. This can’t be blamed on the city of Sydney or the Swans. 1993 was a strange time for people who had a tight man perm.

From 1963 til 1993 the tight man perm was the height of fashion, Rob Brough from Family Feud, the dad from The Brady Bunch and Dermott Brereton were the three best looking men on the planet. Then along came grunge, all of a sudden long hair, and ripped jeans were the look and poor Dermie had been left behind.

Is it any surprise that Rayden Tallis, the guy whose head he stood on had hair like Kurt Cobain? No. Sydney can’t be held responsible for the seismic shift in popular music that led Dermie to suffer an existential crisis that manifested itself in an old fashion head standing. He also broke a guys jaw with a “karate chop”, that was his Elvis period.

The Swans are a good club and they can win the flag this year, having said that, this year is so bizarre that the Swans could also lose two finals by 60 goals and not make the prelim.

I’m not a good columnist.

You can see Dools and Tom Harley talking football in his weekly (as yet unnamed) UStream broadcast on Wednesday afternoon at 4:30pm – http://www.ustream.tv/channel/afl-nsw-act 

If you have any questions you’d like answered during the show tweet him @scottdools or Tom Harley @tjrharley