Footy forging bonds for a lifetime

By James Matthey

Unlike footballers, who show off their skills for three hours every weekend, being a father is a full time job.

That job is made even more difficult when one’s child is sick and in need of medical care, with the house often replaced by the hospital as the place that both parties call home.

Pillars of Strength is the only organisation of its kind that provides support to dads whose child is going through tough times, and last Friday night, they joined forces with AFL NSW/ACT to do their bit for fathers who were enduring emotional hardship.

Approximately 40 dads involved with Pillars of Strength made their way to ANZ stadium to watch the epic clash between the Sydney Swans and Hawthorn, an experience which proved to be a therapeutic activity for all involved.

One of the fathers who attended, Ben McGregor, said the night provided a valuable opportunity to meet other dads who were going through similar situations.

“It always helps just to speak to other people who have been through it, it makes you feel like you’re not the only person that has to deal with these tragedies,” said McGregor.

“It just takes your mind off your problems and you don’t think about the issues while you’re there, you’re actually just enjoying a game with mates which is what it’s all about.

“There’s lots of counselling services out there for women, but for guys, they don’t like to talk about their problems, they prefer to be distracted and the footy’s the perfect place for that.”

Another of the fathers who attended on the night, Matt Silvester, will be running the New York City marathon in November this year in memory of his son Samuel, who was stillborn, and to raise funds for Pillars of Strength.

Silvester said the football was a perfect environment to encourage dads to share their experiences and feelings, something which doesn’t happen very often in today’s world.

“I think it’s excellent, and it’s in such a casual environment as well, everyone’s watching the footy and having a chat at the same time.

“I think everyone’s a lot more relaxed, and everyone’s had a couple of beers so everyone’s a bit more chilled out and happy to talk about things.

“Everyone shares their stories which is quite good to hear, and I find that quite good as well, from a grieving perspective.

“It’s nice to know because it’s remarkably common but no one really talks about it, it’s a very hard topic to bring up, but it’s very good to meet up with other people who have been through the same thing.”

With Friday such a huge success, it demonstrates the important role that sport has to play in providing a safe forum for dads to talk about their issues.

McGregor said that Pillars of Strength was an invaluable resource for struggling fathers, and was confident that they would continue to grow into the future.

“They’ve been a great support, I was one of the first people to call them to seek support so I’ve been to a lot of their events and they’re fantastic.

“I think Pillars of Strength has already gone from strength to strength, they’re always supporting dads so I think it will be an ongoing thing for years to come.

“It’s great for dads, that’s how dads deal with their problems, so every year I think it will get bigger and better.”